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My numb knees

Last night, Petey was still really sick and had a hard time breathing so she slept on her fold out couch in our room (and ended up in the bed with us). This was at 1:30am, when she finally went to sleep. Poor girl has been so miserable. Anyway, since she didn't go to bed until 1:30am, neither did I. And I had plans this morning and had to wake up at 4am. whoop-dee-doo! So after 2 1/2 hours of sleep, I got up and started getting ready to hike 11 miles up and down a mountain! What the heck was I thinking, right? Well, when I signed up for the cancer walk, I didn't know I'd be up at 1:30am the morning of!

So off we hiked, my co workers and I, trudging up a mountain for 5 1/2 miles. My sister just so happened to catch up with us and she was crazy and brought her baby in the stroller. No biggie for me, right? Wrong. Her husband is crazy and wanted to run up the mountain so we had the stroller and I helped her push that kiddo up the mountain (thank goodness he isn't as chubby as Spidey). By the time we got to the top of the mountain, my toes were numb and I'm not kidding. My feet were aching and my hips were stiff...and we still had 5 1/2 miles downhill to go. Great... As we are trecking down the mountain with 3 miles left to go, a girl passes us in a small shirt showing her stomach and tight black pants (yeah I payed that much attention). She was so skinny and was jogging down this mountain. All of a sudden a thought came to mind, "I can do that. I can be small like her and I can push myself and jog down this mountain(and up at some parts)". So I began to jog. I passed my sisters and a couple coworkers, and kept on jogging. My feet started to burn and I kept on jogging. My hips felt like they would lock up and I kept on jogging. At times, I would slow down and walk for a bit but I never stopped. I wanted this badly and so I kept on going. I didn't beat the girl because seriously, she was practically running and I didn't want to kill myself so I stayed at a nice jogging pace and beat my sisters/coworkes by 8 minutes! I was so proud of myself for accomplishing something like that.

And now, if you asked me about it, I might say I regret it but that is only because I am practically crippled. My knees and ankles feel swollen but dont look swollen, my toes are still hurting, and my hips, oh my hips, they are just aching with every step. I waddle everywhere and my poor kids have to wait 5 minutes for me to get up if they need me. haha. But I dont regret it and I am so proud that I did it...just maybe ask me how it was in a few weeks, after I have gotten over the initial shock of my aching body.

PS: I better have lost 10 pounds from that! I'd go and check but I'm dead serious when I say I dont plan on getting up from this couch anytime soon.

And that's how Suze sees it.

If I had it my way...

If I had it my way...(and trust me, soon I will)

I would wear these on a date with my husband:

I would wear these to work:

(apparently, I like the style on the bottom of this shirt, since I picked it twice)

And I would wear these shirts everywhere else:

(Ive been so close to buying this one for days now)

And that's how Suze sees it.

Pictures Pictures!

Do almost 2 year olds often get embarrassed of their mothers? Mine seems to. But even though I look at this face and it is screaming 'embarrassed by my mom', really she is just saying, 'my throat hurts like crap' and doesn't want to smile for me. At least I would assume so since hours later she was diagnosed with her strep throat.

Family pictures for our family our coming up and I am just so torn about what to wear! And not just me, I don't know what anybody is wearing! The polo shirt I bought for my son looks funny and wide on him (and that means it has to be super extra wide because he is wide enough on his own). I made Petey a tutu and then decided against it. If I had 2 girls, I'd have them both wear big puffy tutus but when the rest of us are in jeans, I think it would look like she is the star of the show if she is the only one in a tutu. I bought her a dress that looks awesome and fancy jeans and am trying to decide if that's what I want her to wear but I just haven't comitted to that outfit for her. For me? Oh heck, I could tell you exactly what I want to wear. It is thought out exactly in my mind, the material, the style, everything...but that is in my mind. It'd be great if I was a fashion guru and could just make it myself but I cant. If only I could find that perfect shirt and find the perfect gold sweater to go over it. For my husband? Oh I dont know. I think he'll be in a black shirt with some sort of color under it. His outfit is the furthest we've gotten.

Colors and ideas are appreciated, even though I think I am stuck mostly on gold, black, and turquoise/blue-ish colors...and maybe some green.

Can you see I still don't have a clue?

We are just full of sickness around here

Spidey was diagnosed with an ear infection and bronchiolitis on Sunday and was almost in the hospital with breathing problems. For the first day or two, breathing treatments were every two hours---even through the night. We have thankfully graduated to every 4 hours and last night we were allowed to let him sleep all night, with the promise that we would check on him one time after about 6 hours to make sure he wasn't wheezing badly.

Fastforward to last night. Petey starts running a fever. I think, "No biggie, she's been teething these darn molars for so long. That's gotta be it." This morning, she woke up and was completely whiney, never a good sign for my girl because teething is one thing but usually this type of attitude means sickness. Around 12:30, I get a call from my mother in law (who watched the kiddos today) saying that Petey was crying and grabbing at her throat. You've got to be kidding me. Luckily, I work for the best pediatrician in the world (my dad---who just so happens to be out of town) and scheduled her an appt. Her strep test was positive and tagging along was a very swollen ear infection. whoop-dee-doo. Now I'm thinking you've REALLY got to be kidding me.

Then tonight, as we are watching the olympics, Petey starts vomitting. All. Over. Me. I sit there because she isnt stopping and yell for my husband, who gets us into the bathroom and cleans my in-law's couch (sorry, guys!). I borrow clothes from my mother in law because I'm literally drenched in puke and Petey wears a diaper and a sweater for the rest of the night. We come home and this girly is zonked out beside me, something she NEVER does. Usually, she will only sleep if she has to---meaning restricted in her carseat or crib.

What are the odds that my kids would get two completely opposite sicknesses in the same week and [knock on wood] not contract what the other kid had? Ironic, isn't it?

When it rains, it pours, right?

Apparently.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Advice please?

So I'm looking into getting an IUD. Is anyone familiar with these, had one before, or know much about them? I am trying to research a lot because there are some risks so any advice would be helpful.

Gracias.

An Old Lady

Disclaimer: I love my husband and would NEVER hold a grudge (yea right). This post is not for the purpose of showing my anger towards him but to spill my feelings about a recent conversation...and maybe justify myself. I'm good at that, right?

While talking with my husband the other day, the subject of apparel came up. One minute, we were talking about the clothing and the next minute, he told me I dress like an old lady. Excuse me, what? An old lady? He proceeded to dig his hole deeper by stating that my MOM dressed cooler than me! What the...??? I promptly left the room and he apologized within minutes and that was that, right?

Wrong.

It has been bugging me ever since and the reason I put the term "yea right" in parenthesis after saying I don't hold a grudge is because it is completely untrue. I am holding a grudge! Every day when I get dressed, I think about that comment. Because I don't agree with it and because sometimes I feel like I cant do anything.

I feel like I cant do anything not only because I am overweight but also because I have had two babies. My husband would love me to be in a band tshirt and skinny jeans and trust me, I'd like it too but t shirts arent my thing right now. I just havent melted enough fat on my belly yet. So I resort to empire waists and loose fitting tops...and you don't even want to know what type of jeans I wear.

Anyway, I think I do well with what I've got. If I could somehow mix bohemian type clothing (I know that sounds weird) with t shirt and jeans type clothing, my style would be all mine...but not right now. Right now it is half mine and that is just going to have to do.

By the way, have you ever seen an old lady in a top like this? (yeah I do take pictures in the mirror for the sole purpose of showing them to you)

Or wearing a cool flower like this?

Just sayin...

And that's how Suze sees it.

Did You Know?

(yeah you got a gross picture of me today...lucky you! I want to document this face getting SMALLER!)

Did you know macaroni n cheese makes you skinny?

(I'm lying)

And did you also know that if you start eating macaroni n cheese, you CANT STOP?

Ok, maybe that is just me but seriously, my husband made Petey macaroni for dinner and I took a bite of the leftovers...and then another bite...and another bite...etc.

I lost 2 1/2 pounds last weekend...and a 1/2 pound this whole week. And seriously, I was almost starving myself to lose weight this week! (and I'm kidding when I say that, it just felt like it because I am eating smaller portions and not polishing off entire Costa Vida burritos in one sitting). I have been eating eggs for breakfast instead of cereal, drinking lots more water, and watching my calorie intake. And working out (not very often the past week) too! This is completely dumb. I know that scale might say I am 174 and have lost 30 pounds since giving birth to my son but I don't see it. All I see is a double chin and big boobs. Sorry if that's TMI, you can choose not to read further. My stomach has been ruined by my children...I'm serious, ruined...and though there are skinny people who can give birth and lose it all in five days, that is apparently not me and if I wore form-fitting shirts, I would get asked when I am due...while toting my 4 month old around...and I'm serious, that has happened.

I bought a new work out video by Jillian Michaels and I hope it kicks my butt! Family pictures are in LESS THAN A MONTH and I want to be satisfied with them.

And that's how Suze sees it.

I am back

Where have I been???

With this guy, that's where I've been.

I am so in love with this guy. More today than I was 3 years ago.

I will admit, we are a hard couple. Many times, I feel like we have to work harder than the average couple to keep our marriage alive. Maybe it's true and maybe it's not. I am not in your home 24/7 so I would have no way of proving this fact. But it's how I feel.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago my husband kept me up one night laughing. I am serious, he just kept me laughing for the longest time! We talked and just had a perfect night. And the next night, same thing. There is just something that switched in our minds (or at least my mind). He has always made me happy but this was different. This was laughter so hard my sides hurt. It was love so deep I will never forget it. I feel like even though things are hard, they are right.

On Valentine's day, my husband had to work. Yuck! I was sad that he was not home and had myself a pity party. The kids were napping and I just lay down and cried. When he came home, he brought me a huge cookie from work that said "SE7EN", which to us means 'I love you'. It was the sweetest thing. That Tuesday, we celebrated Valentine's day two days late and went to dinner kid's free. It was a fun night and I realized how important it is to spend time alone. This has always been a hard thing for me since I work all day and want to spend all night with my husband AND kids. He has a hard time convincing me to get a babysitter but we had a blast alone and I am learning to hand the kids to someone else once in a while.

It's a process. I love my life and I love my family but I also realize what a process our lives together are. We have to make mistakes and learn from them in order to grow stronger.

And we are.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Tonight, Petey acquired her first set of flip flops! A $2 STEAL at Target! They looked a little boring......so we added some bows!

And dont they just look adorable on her chubby little feet?

Five minutes later, she walked in the room and handed me the bows---with the shoes still on her feet.

Oh well. I guess we'll try again tomorrow. And when I hot glue the bows on tomorrow, I think I'll put the bows on the longer strap of the flip flops, instead of right in the middle. We shall see. :)

And that's how Suze sees it.

A Princess

Before I had my daughter, I thought the nickname "princess" was for spoiled little girls. I had a hard time calling Petey a princess. Treating her that way has always been easy but that word just never came easily.

Until last night...

Last night, my sister invited me to a presentation being put on by her church group. The name of the talk was called, "More precious than rubies" and focused on women and our body images.
The first story that was told talked about a man that walked 3 dogs each morning; a greyhound, a small poodle, and a lab. How odd it looked to have these three opposite dogs walking side by side. And then she asked us if we thought the greyhound ever wished he had fur like the lab, or if the lab ever wished that he was petite like the poodle, or if the poodle ever wished he had legs like the greyhound. She went on to say that the greyhound could wish for the lab's fur all day long but he had a greyhound mama and a greyhound daddy, therefore he was a greyhound. She taught that this is same with women. I have the body type that I was born with because of my genetic makeup. I will never be 5' 10" or 90 pounds. No matter how I wish that I can be someone else (cause really I wouldn't mind looking like Kate Hudson), I have a daddy and a mama who made me the way I am.

The second story I remember talked about a dad who always vowed to call his daughter a princess, so she would grow up never doubting who she was or where she came from. When his second daughter was born, he didn't use this word as often and one day, he said to his second daughter, "Hey princess, let's go to the store." and she just kept playing with her toys. Her mom said, "Daddy is talking to you." and the little girl looked up and said, "Oh he doesn't mean me."

Talking about my daughter being a princess in that aspect changed things for me. I always want her to know that she is a daughter of God and a princess.

One more point that I remembered from the message had to do with how we raise our daughters to love themselves. A study was done and more girls thought badly about their body image if their mother did. It didn't matter how many times a day that mother told her daughter she was beautiful, if that mother didn't feel the same about herself, the daughter usually thought bad about herself. I know that I have a lot to work on as Petey gets older. I want my beautiful princess to grow up loving herself and knowing who she is. And it all starts with me.

And that's how Suze sees it.

A sick day for a sick mom

First of all, I have the cutest son in the entire world. I cant believe he has already reached the 4 month mark---I remember when Petey was 4 months only because it was yesterday! His smiles are bright, his body so round, this boy is just the sweetest thing! And he makes life easier when his big sister is walking around the house yelling, "Dont!" all the time these days. Or if we tell her to be nice she gets up in his face, points her finger at him, and yells, "Be nice, baby!". Anything I do to reprimand her, she tries to do to him. "sigh". I sure love that girl but this isn't going to be easy to raise her.

Anyway, you might be wondering why I am writing on a Monday afternoon. Shouldnt I be at work? Well, a couple of days ago, I got an infection. If you know what a UTI is, you know what I'm talking about and if you don't, I'm not in the mood to explain it. So I started antibiotics last night and this morning, woke up with a horrible stomach ache. Yuck! I called in sick to work, which seems cool because a whole day with my kids, right? Well, someday I am going to learn that being sick and trying to take care of 2 needy children is not easy. I feel like laying in bed today and I cant. And when I can (ahem, right now while both kids are sleeping), I'm on here. Because I'm just not that smart.

So if you know me, dont come over today. I am not dressed, Petey has been running around naked all morning, the house is a mess, and Spidey is in his clothes from yesterday(and you can tell).

And that's how Suze sees it.